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Selah's Journal: What Men Really Want From A Woman


Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water” – Genesis 24:13

There is a mindset in this part of the region that a woman who is working or has a career will find it difficult to have a husband. People further justify the claim with the rapidly growing number of successful women who are ripe enough for marriage yet remain unmarried.

As much as there are varying premises that could cause the above claim (and that is a topic for another day), I want you to know that the advantages of a woman having a job or pursuing her destiny far surpasses what could be its disadvantages and can also be the catalyst that speed up your “happily-married” life. This is because a dream that is given by God is not a selfish one and at such, the benefits are encompassing both for the giver and the receiver.

The man in Genesis 24:13, went to the spring of water where the daughters of men of the city will come to draw water. You can liken it to a company, a market place, a hospital, an NGO and the likes. The man then chose from the lots the woman who is most selfless in her service. Not the hustler-mindset kind of woman, nor the one who is just trying to get by but the one dedicated to what she does and how she can use it to make others better.

The Proverbs-31-woman sought for wool and flax “with her hands” and provides for her household. Many a lady in this part of the world have the mindset that marriage is supposed to be their escape and they are so concentrated on the search for a husband that they forsake fulfilling their destinies both within the marriage and their life.

I want you to understand that the reason why people “love” money is because of the value it brings, if the government should change the design of a particular denomination of the currency, that obsolete currency becomes another paper without much value. So also is work to a woman. It may not necessarily be a work that produces immediate income but a woman who is busy living out her destiny with humility for the benefit of all will accrue so much value she will be like the currency no one can ignore.

Men respect a woman that can hold her own and bring some form of value to the table. The women in Proverbs 31 and Genesis 24 where meeting needs in the men they encountered. So also while it is important that a man should maintain his worth by being a potential bread winner (I’m talking about the single men now), a woman must be a potential “satisfier” of his emotional, spiritual, physical and organisational needs, otherwise, she’s just another girl planning for the big wedding and not the marriage.

Proverbs 31:30-31 puts it this way;

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Furthermore; I will like to quote some of my friend, Darrell Creswell’s translation of the modern Proverbs 31 woman; read below:

“A husband depends on his wife.
With her by his side, he will never be poor.

She cares for him all her life.
She never causes him pain and heartache.

Her duties are both inside and outside the home,
She is a wife, mother, and business woman.

She shops for the best bargains even outside her neighborhood,
She delights in saving money for her family.

She wakes up early in the morning,
She makes breakfast for her family and takes care of the pets.

She is sensible with her money, and contributes financially, if needed.
She invests in her family’s future spiritually.”

Read the whole of Darrell’s translation here

Photo Credit: TheaudacityofaDream.blogspot.com

– By Alex Amos

For prayer request or you just need someone to talk to, connect with Alex Amos via Twitter to get additional contact details.


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